For many years I wondered what I was doing wrong, and why people seemes to constantly misunderstand my agendas and what I was talking about.
This is a subject I penetrated with Gaia a while back, and since then we've spent a lot of time discussing this. We realized, that bth of us like to say what we think and mean. And we both have thought this would be a good thing, leaving nothing or very little to guessing. You know, ASSUME makes Ass out of U and Me. But we've come to realize that people don't know how to communicate like this. They expect to be left guessing. And when I say "But I told you THIS and THIS." they say, "Oh, but I thought you meant THAT and THAT.". "But I said THIS.". "I know, but I still thought you might have meant THAT.". HELLO?!?! What is this? Why can't anyone interprate a straight line of up-front communication?
First. I think, people aren't used to this. Second, it's a bit scary to have people constantly announcing their correct status. Sometimes, a little self-deception feels good to the ego, I guess. Not knowing and not really wanting to know sometimes overrides the necessity of actually KNOWING and making decisions based on facts, not assumptions.
Then, there is this part about solving conflicts. Me and Gaia are now the REALLY creepy and scary ones, lifting conflicts to the surface in this country of "We do not acknowledge conflicts, nor solve them. We pretend everything is fine, and talk behind eachother's backs instead.". To face someone who actually wants to solve things means you have to handle the shit. Most people seem to avoid that in absurdum. No wonder most friendships, relationships and social groups have problems staying together. We have decided nothing can come between and ruin our friendship bonds in this group. That means, as disturbing as it may seem to some, that we COMMUNICATE. Not slander, not back stab. But communicate face to face.
People say we're bitchy, scary and complicated. But hey, we're the ones who stayed friends for very long, and managed to keep the boat floating. And the communication also provides a safety net as we catch those who don't feel that good at the moment very fast before they fall. And we defend against people who come to destroy and disturb by having open communication. No guessing, just up-front talking. More people should try it.